Lifequake moments: when something happens and everything changes ⚡ While these moments can precipitate personal growth and lead to major change, life transitions can be exciting AND overwhelming all at once.

Lifequake moments precede periods of change. As such, they can throw us for a loop.

If we choose, we have the opportunity to change for the better after lifequake moments. That’s because these moments often follow some form of internal and/or external disruption. And that can leave us feeling… well, off. Disjointed, unsettled, uncomfortable, or simply “not right” also comes to mind.

These events can be big, small or unassuming because of how common they are! Think of events like a job change, financial setbacks, marriage, divorce, having kids, an injury, relationship endings, or moving to a new city. They can provoke feelings of happiness, sadness, excitement, or stress.

Yet, what they all have in common is this. They have the potential to initiate the process of personal growth and evolution. The cue is the emotional shift they provoke, especially when it’s an uncomfortable one.

Lifequake moments lead to periods of transformation. They can mark the beginning of something new. But not always.

Initially, after something happens that changes us, we desperately want to get back to our old selves and ways of being. It’s familiar, which is comforting. Naturally, we tend to hold on – to old beliefs and stories, or we wait until things return to normal. This is known as the resistance stage because we are unable to accept what happened. There may also be a tendency to blame others during this stage.

When we’re in resistance mode, we tend to feel stuck (often below our conscious awareness). If you suspect that this may be happening to you, the biggest clue to watch out for is repeated patterns. Essentially, when the same things keep happening again and again and again.

Despite the frustrations of repeated patterns and recurrent problems, there is a familiarity with emotions that we experience over and over again – even if they aren’t pleasant. Familiarity often feels safe, so there’s no shame in this! This is about awareness and heaps of compassion, folks ❤️

From that place, there are two paths forward after these critical lifequakes.
💡 Resistance (unable to accept what happened)
💡 Realization (acceptance of what happened)

The first path keeps us stuck in familiar loops; stories of hurt, fear and failure. The other path can free us from this but it requires awareness, extreme ownership, and a shift in perception.

From that place, we can begin to edit our own stories and write new ones; one where we navigate the complexity of change, acquire new skills, and build resiliency in the process.

Lifequake moments lead to periods of transformation. They can mark the beginning of something new. If you choose.

The path forward is a choice but it’s not an easy one.

Realization is not the end of the journey. It’s part of the journey. The new path forward is difficult because it involves a perception shift and taking different actions than before. It is purposeful and intentional because the default is what you used to think, feel and do (before realization and acceptance).

Slowly, with time and practice, we can begin to live into the new stories we are creating for ourselves. This is when real change happens.

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This is part 1 of a series. The next post in this series will discuss what to do after realization and acceptance.

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Photo by Shefali Lincoln on Unsplash